


Lit by Candlelight and Fireworks

by littlegaylauren



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Clexa, F/F, Fireworks, Sweet, but this won in the end, dont hate me, so I had a totally other idea for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 05:22:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7562047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlegaylauren/pseuds/littlegaylauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been two months since the City of Light was shut down. Two months since she'd last seen Lexa, and the world is practically in chaos. Not that Clarke cares though. No, she'd rather spend all her time with Jasper drinking at the bar. He still hates her, but at least it's more tolerable than the looks Farm Station gives her- as if she's some sort of she-demon. </p>
<p>A large pop! is heard outside, followed by a hiss. "Go do your thing Wanheda, go kill the fun."</p>
<p>______<br/>Summary: [Oneshot] Clarke is dragged to watch fireworks with her friends, and ends up thinking about Lexa. Angsty dream ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lit by Candlelight and Fireworks

"Come on Clarke- it'll be fun! I promise," an aggravated Raven said, dragging a reluctant Clarke behind her. The blonde kept her feet on the ground, but there was no denying that even with a bad leg, Raven was making good distance with her.

"Why should I go? Everyone still hates me," Clarke pointed out, folding her arms stubbornly. "Yeah but I don't," Raven proclaimed, obviously not thinking this through. 

Clarke visibly cringed, scoffing and turning away from Raven. "Princess, it'll be fun, I promise," the brunette tried again, placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder who shrugged it away. Raven bit her lip, eyebrows furrowing, "You know what? This is why people don't like you anymore! You aren't the Clarke we used to know! You sit in that room and cry every damn day about some girl who fucked us over and started all of this shit! But if you want to go and cry yourself to sleep until the end of the world.. then you can go float yourself." The brunette spat angrily. 

Clarke felt a lone tear fall from her eye, turning to face Raven. Seeing the woman cry made Raven withdraw, suddenly feeling guilty of her words. " _Wow_. Thanks, I just might." Clarke told her dryly, turning once more and making her way into her dorm, locking the door. 

Clarke collapsed onto the bed in a fit of tears, wrapping her arms around herself. 

Soft tapping echoed into her dorm which Clarke had nicknamed her cell, Raven's pained voice barely emitting from behind the glass. "Clarke, everyone would love to see you. You're our hope, y'know? I know you might not want to but.. I want you there. Think about it, please." She spoke to the closed door. 

Soft footprints fled the scene, telling Clarke she really was alone. Her hand crept underneath the pillow to clench onto her most prized possession. She pulled the pendant up to her eyes, the 'Helm of Awe' from Lexa's head piece. Appropriately named because Lexa was nothing short of amazing and awesome. 

"I'm sorry.. I'm so, so sorry Lexa," she cried out into the silence.

_____

Clarke made her way down the corridor, lazily eyeing those she passed by. She'd requested specifically to be in a separate building than the rest of the 100, specifically so she wouldn't be bothered when all she wanted to do was sulk. Thankfully, the arrangements had been made, although she was in the middle of the Farm Station's quarters, and all of them stared at her as if she were some sort of she-demon. 

The only face near her was Monty, who had trouble looking her in the eyes these days. The bodies in the hallway reminded Clarke of her time in Polis, when she was being escorted through the tower and the handmaidens and ambassadors looked at her as if she were the scum of the Earth. 

To this day, Clarke didn't know if it was because she was so close to Lexa, or if because she was Skaikru, but both of them would warrant the same response anyway. Clarke loved the looks on their faces, because she knew if she were to make any sudden movements those looks would turn to fear. 

_Wanheda._

She'd learned to respect the title, because honestly it described her perfectly. 

She was reminded of this every night, because at seven every night she could be found in the rec hall where the bar was, next to Jasper who was always _so happy_ to see her. 

It's been two months since the City of Light was shut down. Two months since she'd last seen Lexa, and realized that the world was ending. Not that Clarke cared though, no, she'd rather spend all her time with Jasper at the bar. Sure, he still hated her, but at least he was funny about it. 

Clumsily slumping into a bar stool, the familiar voice of Jasper spoke up with a dry tone, "You're late." He pointed out, cocking his head towards the large clock on the wall, taking a swig of his moonshine. The clock read 7:11, and the blonde had to resist the urge to roll her eyes, motioning the bartender to give her a drink. "What? Did you miss me or something?" He fake-gagged, rolling his eyes. "Hardly, I'd just come up with another joke, want to hear it?" He slurred.

Clarke was handed a drink, and she made quick work of it, ignoring the bitter taste til it was all gone. She motioned for another one, "Hit me with your best shot," she responded to the boy whose lips had twisted up into a twisted smile. 

"You know, you really are Wanheda, aren't you? You kill everything and everyone! Mt. Weather, those 300 grounders we burned, Lincoln, Maya, Wells, your girlfriend, hell- even the mood! You never did know how to have fun," Jasper began. Clarke gritted her teeth but motioned for him to continue, "I'm guessing you have a point?" She asked.

He swallowed another sip, "Yeah, yeah. I'm getting to that, my point is, you kill everything! And now, I guess your powers have gone into overdrive because now.. we're all going to die!" He told her, chuckling. It took Clarke a second before she too started laughing too at the boy's morbid joke. 

"I guess you're right Jasper," she relented, nodding at him. He tugged on his jacket, "I'm always right."

She drank the rest of her drink, and soon the conversation led to a darker but lighter path. "Y'know Clarke- since our doom is impending, I figure, we should just do this whenever we get wherever we're going." Jasper told her. Clarke smiled, "Oh yeah? And for how long will we do this for?" She asked, tilting her head.

Jasper scratched the top of his head, "Til I forgive you of course, then we can go on." Clarke paused, til he forgives her? "And how long will that take?" she asked.

The boy shrugged, "Dunno, but we aren't dead yet- so I don't have to worry about it yet." He reasoned. 

Before Clarke could tell the bartender to stop refilling his drinks because he was so drunk he was talking about forgiving her, a large boom and hiss was heard outside, followed by a bunch of commotion. Clarke's eyes moved to the door, but no movement was seen. 

"Go do your thing Wanheda, go kill the fun," Jasper retorted dryly. Clarke turned back to him, squeezing his hand lightly which he snatched away. She didn't want to leave him like this but her curiosity got the best of her. "Save my seat Jasper," she told him, running off. 

The commotion outside was only growing louder, and inebriated Clarke was having a hard time getting through the crowd of people before coming to the front where the remaining of the 100 stood, looking off into the distance as a red flare broke out into the sky.

Clarke felt the name for the object on the tip of her tongue, like a whisper from an ghost. "Fireworks," Clarke stated, capturing her friends' attention. "You came!" Raven exclaimed, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Isn't it beautiful? Me and Monty created these bad boys, we're probably giving them quite the scare in Ton DC huh?" Raven bragged, puffing out her chest. 

At her words she felt a tug at her heart strings, she should really tell them to stop, but Jasper's words rang through her ears. _"Go ruin the fun, Wanheda."_ She shivered. 

"Y-yeah, it's pretty amazing." she agreed shakily. Another one was set off, a blue one which lit up the night sky. Bellamy next to them cheered loudly, obviously ignoring Clarke, which the blonde was all set for. She didn't know how to approach him anyway.

"Clarke."

The blonde turned around to see Octavia, arms folded across her chest. Her gaze was hard, jaw set. But it only took a second before she was wrapping her arms around the blonde, burrowing herself in the crook of Clarke's neck. Stunned, Clarke awkwardly patted her back before warming up to the hug.

"I'm glad you're here," she whispered into Clarke's ears. Clarke smiled warmly, "Me too, O." 

Deep down, Clarke knew that she and Octavia had been through the same experience. She lost Lincoln, Clarke lost Lexa. Their grieving was handled very differently though. The brunette was a fighter, she trained hard and sparred with anyone she could. Clarke on the other hand shut everyone out and cried. She would turn away from conversations about her experiences in Polis, and get defensive over people touching her things. 

Raven moved to set off more fireworks, which went high into the sky, multiple colors shining through the sky and twinkling like stars.  _What would Lexa think of this?_ She wondered to herself. She could see her, standing under the moonlight with the reflection of the fireworks in her eyes, perhaps trying to remain stoic, but otherwise showing no signs of awe. No sign of weakness.

Of course, in Raven fashion, the show was cut short because the mechanic did in fact get singed. "Don't play with fire kids," she muttered, soot on her face which she was cradling a mildly burned finger in her palm. Clarke gave it a once over and told her to run cold water over it and go to medical for a bandage. 

With the mastermind gone, most of the crowd cleared out. A few minutes later, Monty appeared through the gate, soot ridden like Raven but not burnt. As soon as he saw Clarke he straightened up, a guilty puppy look on his face. Clarke took a deep breath and reached out. She rubbed some of the soot on his face.

"You got a little-" of course, rubbing it made it worse, a black streak now more prominent on his right cheek. "Oops." Octavia giggled from behind her and Monty blushed, "It's fine."

A pregnant pause fell on the trio before Clarke dared to speak up, "Hey.. I left Jasper inside, we were having a few drinks. Would you guys like to-" she couldn't even finish her sentence before the two agreed, seemingly eager to patch things up as well.

______

The first question Jasper had asked was, "Oh my god bro! Did Clarke try to get you with her Wanheda powers?" This was loudly whispered to Monty and it had the three crack a smile. It was obvious he'd had more since she'd left, but with the arrival of Monty, his intake slowed. 

Raven had joined them by the end of the night and drinking now felt less like trying to drown Clarke's sorrows in moonshine and bad jokes by Jasper.

But now Clarke was back in her cell of a room, with only her and her thoughts. Well, and Lexa, who was hidden carefully behind one of the dislodged panels in her room so Jasper couldn't find it. She stared at the metal ceiling in the dark, breathing and trying to think of anything but Lexa, or the current predicament. 

The metal cell wasn't very big, and only housed a twin bed, a desk, and a small table which currently housed various sketches done by the young artist. The room- or lack of, made it easy for thoughts to seep in. Clarke made a noise of distress before turning over and attempting to sleep.

______

When she opened her eyes she was in Polis, in the tower. Peeking a blue eye open, she noticed that she was on Lexa's big bed of furs.

Wait, Lexa?

Clarke jolted, sitting upright in bed, the covers pooling at her waist. "Go back to sleep Clarke," a voice said, capturing the blonde's attention. Her eyes met green and a wave of relief washed over her. Lexa stood at the windowsill, turned to look at Clarke who seemed to look at her like she'd just seen a ghost. 

Pulling a blanket around her, the naked blonde got off the bed, feet hitting the floor with a thud. Lexa had changed from their love session, now sporting a simple nightgown which she looked stunning in. Clarke made her way over to the Commander, placing her head on her shoulder from behind, chin resting on the crook of her neck. "Come back to bed." She whined.

The commander ignored her, leaning into her. "What are they called?" Lexa asked.

"Hm?" Clarke hummed, oblivious until she looked out of the window to see what was happening. "Fireworks."

The world outside was encased with the flashes of color that lit up the sky with loud pops. How she hadn't noticed earlier was beyond the blonde but right now she just wanted to be close to Lexa. Blue eyes studied Lexa, who was watching the light show with awe, but also in a studying manner. 

"They were used in the old days as flares, if someone was on one side of the land and lit this up, you could see where they were. Then it just was used because they look nice," Clarke supplied her. "Perhaps I'll have to inform my people of this, it could be a good tactical prop for battle." She considered. 

The blonde rolled her eyes. 

Clarke moved onto the Commander's lap, and continued to watch the fireworks with her. Sometime in that, Clarke had placed a small kiss onto Lexa's lips, which had started a dance between lips and tongues, lit by candlelight and fireworks. When they did break away, Clarke realized she had been crying.

Lexa wiped her tears away, kissing each cheek which just resulted in more tears. "Why are you crying ai hodnes?" She asked, "Shouldn't I be the one crying?" She teased, which Clarke was too upset to respond to. "I don't want this to end," she cried, to which Lexa replied with, "I'll always be with you." 

Clarke felt herself being carried as she was currently clinging onto Lexa as if letting her go would mean she would disappear. She was placed delicately on the bed, which Clarke allowed herself to be detached for only a moment before she latched back onto the Commander, using her chest as a pillow, a soft kiss was placed on her forehead. Clarke looked up at her love, "I'm scared." She admitted, tears threatening to spill once more. 

Lexa hugged Clarke closer, "There's nothing to be scared of, I'm right here," she soothed. "Go back to sleep, I will be right here. Always." She promised. Clarke yawned. She'd forgotten how tired she was. She rose up and kissed the Commander once more, melting into her lips. 

Burrowing herself back down, Clarke sighed contently. "I love you," she whispered. No response.

"Death is not the end Clarke," Lexa whispered. "I will always be with you."

___

 

**Author's Note:**

> I won't lie. I was up writing this til 3 in the morning so it probably has MAJOR issues, but right now I'm proud of it. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always widely appreciated, especially for struggling writers like me with chronic writers block.


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